For those of you out there of regularly check this blog, you will do doubt have noticed that there has been a distinct lack of posting. This is due to the fact that for the past week or so life seems to have ganged up on me and kneecapped me.
Well thats my theory and I’m sticking to it.
Since I last posted, I have regained some control over my sleeping, which I am so relieved that I did as I have needed more strength than ever to cope with this weeks events.
I have a little boy, Xander, and he is unique. I call him my ‘rainbow child’ as no matter how dark, gloomy and stormy you may be feeling, one smile from him and he radiates all the joy of a rainbow after the storm. He is also gifted with the ability to see spirit and perceive things that others may miss, which is a talent that I intend to nurture so that unlike me, he will keep the ability as he grows and not have the long period of emptiness during the transition from childhood into adulthood that I had until I regained my gifts.
Monday this week saw me rushing him to the doctor’s surgery and then rushing him into hospital, bypassing the A&E/Emergency Room and getting him straight onto a ward. Unsure of why he was screaming in pain there was talk of appendacitis, kidney stones a twisted bowl and heaven knows what else, there was so much information heading my way that I can’t remember it all.
Being a single mum through the week I felt so alone in having to make all of the necessary decisions and try to comfort and reassure him. Calls were made to his grandpa to collect pyjamas etc as the hospital were keeping him in, calls were made to his daddy to tell him he better pack his stuff and head home asap as his little boy needed him.
So while I sat in the hospital by his bedside awiting test results and watching ever more painful examinations, my father was collecting necessary items and getting upset at the thought of Xander in pain, and Xander’s daddy was making the 300 mile trip home to be by his bedside. I was trying hard not to let my emotions show and stay calm for Xan, whilst inside I was falling apart, especially when the doctor said he was going to call a surgeon!
Thankfully at the last minute, as the surgeon was heading up, more test results came back and we found the source of the acute pain. Now we knew why he was suffering but not the reason for the condition. Still they decided that due to this new information, he could come home, providing I was armed with enough medications to stock a pharmacy.
Thinking that this would now mean that everything was under control, later that evening we were discharged, Grandpa relieved and coming home from the hospital with us, daddy still heading up the motorway to be with us.
Tuesday however saw us rushing back into hospital. Xander started getting hotter and hotter, temperature rising up to 102.2′ and then he started shaking. This was new and scary to me, it all came on so quickly. The hospital was called and he was readmitted and the round of tests statred again.
He is back at home now (Friday), I have a schedule of medications, his daddy has returned to work, grandpa is calling us regularly to check we are ok, and I am watching him like a hawk. I am keeping him away from nursery schiool until I am sure he is stable and in control of himself and as for me I am running in mum/nurse mode, waking up at the slightest night time murmer and checking his temperature several times a day, just in case.
This has been one of those instances when I have been glad I work from home. He has had his mummy by his side all the way through his trauma, hopefully making him feel safe and reassured. Yes I may miss a couple of deadlines, or the store may miss an update etc, but I am where I am most needed and that is more important than anything else.